Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme

17

Jun

If your child listens to classical music:

The Haydn Effect:
Child is witty and quick on his feet, quite often bringing a grin to the faces of those around him. Despite this he exhibits remarkable humility.
The Bach Effect:
Child memorizes Scripture and says his prayers every day; may overwhelm listeners with his speech.
The Handel Effect:
Much like the Bach Effect; in addition, the child may exhibit dramatic behavior.
The Beethoven Effect:
Child develops a superiority complex and is prone to violent tantrums; is a perfectionist.
The Liszt Effect:
Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but never really says anything important
The Bruckner Effect:
Child speaks very slowly and repeats himself frequently. Gains a reputation for profundity.
The Grieg Effect:
This child is quirky yet cheery. May be prone toward Norwegian folklore.
The Wagner Effect:
Child becomes a megalomaniac. Speaks for six hours at a stretch.
The Schoenberg Effect:
Child never repeats a word until he has used all the other words in his vocabulary. Sometimes talk backwards or upside-down. Eventually people stop listening to him. Child blames them for their inability to understand him.
The Ives Effect:
Child develops a remarkable ability to carry on several separate conversations at once.
The Stravinsky Effect:
Child is prone to savage, guttural and profane outbursts that lead to fighting and pandemonium in preschool.
The Shostakovich Effect:
Child only expresses themselves in parent-approved ways.
The Cage Effect:
Childs says exactly nothing for 4 minutes and 33 seconds. Preferred by 9 out of 10 classroom teachers.
The Glass Effect:
Child repeats one word over, and over, and over, and over....

princeowl:

'romeo and juliet but with gnomes instead of people with music by elton john' isnt a movie that you'd think exists but it does 

15

Jan

27

Dec

(Source: woodlandsway)

08

Dec

(Source: youngbaebae)

blua:

This point can never be repeated often enough.

(Source: commie-pinko-liberal)

spankmehardbarry:

that guy in class who constantly adds irrelevant and stupid comments during the lecture

image

(Source: tumboy)